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A letter to my Grandchildren

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To my beautiful grandchildren…

Our world is changing so fast and there are many things I wish for you…

I wish for you all the things that life teaches you…

I’d really like for you to know about hand-me-down clothes. I really wish for you to realize the pride and love in wearing those hand-me downs, and to honor the memories attached to them.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated, and that you never feel you should retaliate because you feel wronged. I hope you learn the value in forgiveness and compassion.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. I want for you to build memories that will make you smile in times when you don’t want to.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen, I want for you to know that feeling of worth and pride by earning it for yourself!

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in. It shows you are willing to protect, project and prove that you have faith and strength.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother or sister.

And it’s all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when they want to crawl under the covers with you because they’re afraid, I hope you let them.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother or sister wants to tag along, I hope you’ll let them. You may not get the chance to be with them when you grow up, life changes our expectations of our future, do now what you think you can do then.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don’t ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won’t be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books, lots of them. It is in books you will discover your hopes and dreams.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

I hope that when you get angry with your Mom and Dad, you remember that it’s ok to feel the way you do, but never stay mad or hold grudges. Your parents will love you no matter what, just remember these are the people who have loved you since before you were here.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, get splinters in your hands from chopping wood and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don’t care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don’t like it.

And if a friend tries to get you to do something that makes you feel funny inside, listen to that funny feeling, they are not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your grandparents and ask us about what your Mom and Dad were like growing up, and I hope you go fishing with your uncle, make cookies with your GG’s, and watch old movies with your Aunt.

These are just some of the things that I wish for you – tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness.  These are the same things my Grandparents wished for me, I have learned, to appreciate life, all of these things must happen.

I wish for you all the things life teaches you, but most of all…

I wish for you to know how much you are loved!

My Path

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My Path

A letter to my Family and Friends, who ever you consider yourselves to be…

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No Regrets

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I don’t regret anything about my past, nor do I think any thing I did and with whom was a waste of time…I am grateful for every single moment, because each second, minute, hour and day has made me who I am today!  My Path was created by me, carved by my own foot steps, like a river carves it’s pathway cutting thru a mountain, it never turns back, or regrets, it just keeps moving forward!

The Distance Between Us…

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Photo credit: Danette Monta

The distance between us makes me wonder each day. There could be a million miles between us but I  would still feel your presence around me. You are so far away from me but yet so close to my heart.  I can spend blissful moments wrapped around your memory by just closing my eyes and the distance disappears . It’s the love that you have taught me and have given me that lets me know, even though we have miles between us and we cannot spend time together, we are always forever a part of each other. Even from a distance I can close my eyes and feel as if we were never apart. I know you are with me where ever I go, I can feel your smile and hear your laughter.  I see you in the simplest little things that surround me, The sun setting as the sky turns to a milky pink with a glow of azure, Catching a song on the radio at just the right time to hear the part that you always sang loudly, A scent that fills the air. I smile because I know it was you who taught me about love, I love you for being the wonderful person that you are and were and for the beauty you brought into my life.   

I truly miss you and often think what would you tell me to do at this moment or what words of wisdom you would give me when I feel afraid or uncertain. I learned to trust your courage and your bravery.  I look to you still as an example and recall your words to help me even now.  I wonder do you know what an impact you have had? Do you know just how much you have influenced me?  The distance between us makes me wonder each day…

Gotta Love Fibro Symptoms

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fibro-poem2ok, just so you all know, I will be posting sort of an online record of my battle with Fibromyalgia…it serves several purposes…1. to allow you all a window into my life with Fibromyalgia and 2. to keep a record of my symptoms and how often and when they occur. If you do not wish to read any of them, that is fine, I will not be offended or upset if you choose to delete me or remove me, but I do ask that you have some empathy and join me in this journey so you may have a better understanding when a loved one of yours is afflicted with a debilitating illness…Thank you for your support and love…

My new Blog is called Gotta Love Fibro Symptoms-

http://gottalovefibrosymptoms.wordpress.com/

Please join me and share my journey with as many others who may be going thru something similar. This blog will be filled with truths, sadness, happiness, achievements, venting and even a poem from time to time…Looking forward to everyone’s input and comments…

Thank you…

 

If You Really Knew…

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If you really knew me…

You would know
that a soft word
fills my heart…
and a kiss on my neck
turns me into butter…

Yet you chose to use sharp words
that cut me deep…and this wounds me,
all my hopes and tenderness for you
flow out of my heart onto the ground

into a million broken pieces…

You…cannot explain the look
on my face as you make me

fall to my knees, hurt as I turn away from

You to hide my tears…

Instead of walking up behind me to hold me

To comfort me…broken,heart,fairy,fantasy,real,pain-fd73b11e97e769566e54da308abbfae2_h
You…
walk away.
Because…
You…
don’t know me.
Yet…you want to own me
in the most intimate of ways…

Yet I…
as hurt as I am ….still smile…
because I …
Love you and want to make you happy,
Inside and out…
even when you show me
you are aggravated and had too much
you look with your cold stare
and look through me …
like I…
am not even there
You…bring tears
to my eyes… Your words cut me…

but I won’t bleed, at least not in front of you anymore.

It gives you pleasure to know…

You …control my every heart beat.
You know how to make me question myself…

What have I done wrong?, when the real question is…

You…what have you done to show you care?…

and you make me wonder..
what I’m made of…

I don’t know anymore, I once knew only…

You…now because of you and your words…

I know this…

I won’t break for you anymore…
or crumble over the wicked
words you chose to use….
I can’t be that someone for you to punish anymore,
For you… you need someone to blame…

 when all I ever did

Was love you for YOU…
just being you…
but you would only know that
If…
You really knew me.

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