RSS Feed

No Regrets

Posted on

I don’t regret anything about my past, nor do I think any thing I did and with whom was a waste of time…I am grateful for every single moment, because each second, minute, hour and day has made me who I am today!  My Path was created by me, carved by my own foot steps, like a river carves it’s pathway cutting thru a mountain, it never turns back, or regrets, it just keeps moving forward!

The Distance Between Us…

Posted on

Photo credit: Danette Monta

The distance between us makes me wonder each day. There could be a million miles between us but I  would still feel your presence around me. You are so far away from me but yet so close to my heart.  I can spend blissful moments wrapped around your memory by just closing my eyes and the distance disappears . It’s the love that you have taught me and have given me that lets me know, even though we have miles between us and we cannot spend time together, we are always forever a part of each other. Even from a distance I can close my eyes and feel as if we were never apart. I know you are with me where ever I go, I can feel your smile and hear your laughter.  I see you in the simplest little things that surround me, The sun setting as the sky turns to a milky pink with a glow of azure, Catching a song on the radio at just the right time to hear the part that you always sang loudly, A scent that fills the air. I smile because I know it was you who taught me about love, I love you for being the wonderful person that you are and were and for the beauty you brought into my life.   

I truly miss you and often think what would you tell me to do at this moment or what words of wisdom you would give me when I feel afraid or uncertain. I learned to trust your courage and your bravery.  I look to you still as an example and recall your words to help me even now.  I wonder do you know what an impact you have had? Do you know just how much you have influenced me?  The distance between us makes me wonder each day…

Gotta Love Fibro Symptoms

Posted on
fibro-poem2ok, just so you all know, I will be posting sort of an online record of my battle with Fibromyalgia…it serves several purposes…1. to allow you all a window into my life with Fibromyalgia and 2. to keep a record of my symptoms and how often and when they occur. If you do not wish to read any of them, that is fine, I will not be offended or upset if you choose to delete me or remove me, but I do ask that you have some empathy and join me in this journey so you may have a better understanding when a loved one of yours is afflicted with a debilitating illness…Thank you for your support and love…

My new Blog is called Gotta Love Fibro Symptoms-

http://gottalovefibrosymptoms.wordpress.com/

Please join me and share my journey with as many others who may be going thru something similar. This blog will be filled with truths, sadness, happiness, achievements, venting and even a poem from time to time…Looking forward to everyone’s input and comments…

Thank you…

 

If You Really Knew…

Posted on

If you really knew me…

You would know
that a soft word
fills my heart…
and a kiss on my neck
turns me into butter…

Yet you chose to use sharp words
that cut me deep…and this wounds me,
all my hopes and tenderness for you
flow out of my heart onto the ground

into a million broken pieces…

You…cannot explain the look
on my face as you make me

fall to my knees, hurt as I turn away from

You to hide my tears…

Instead of walking up behind me to hold me

To comfort me…broken,heart,fairy,fantasy,real,pain-fd73b11e97e769566e54da308abbfae2_h
You…
walk away.
Because…
You…
don’t know me.
Yet…you want to own me
in the most intimate of ways…

Yet I…
as hurt as I am ….still smile…
because I …
Love you and want to make you happy,
Inside and out…
even when you show me
you are aggravated and had too much
you look with your cold stare
and look through me …
like I…
am not even there
You…bring tears
to my eyes… Your words cut me…

but I won’t bleed, at least not in front of you anymore.

It gives you pleasure to know…

You …control my every heart beat.
You know how to make me question myself…

What have I done wrong?, when the real question is…

You…what have you done to show you care?…

and you make me wonder..
what I’m made of…

I don’t know anymore, I once knew only…

You…now because of you and your words…

I know this…

I won’t break for you anymore…
or crumble over the wicked
words you chose to use….
I can’t be that someone for you to punish anymore,
For you… you need someone to blame…

 when all I ever did

Was love you for YOU…
just being you…
but you would only know that
If…
You really knew me.

My Thoughts…

Posted on
Sometimes I sit up late with my thoughts, reluctant to fall asleep and leave my thoughts alone by themselves, They already rule most of my days, hours and minutes, then when sleep finally does come, they invade that world too…and my thoughts, thankfully, are of you…

One Day

Posted on

One day you’ll know how much I love you.
One day you’ll know how much it hurt to leave you.

You want to think I didn’t care for you,
When really you are my heart.

One day you’ll know how it took all my resolve
To walk away,
For me trying to understand how to love you,
but yet, my weakness ended our life that day.

One day you’ll know that a day doesn’t go by,
When I don’t think of you.
One day you’ll know how much I put myself through, walking away     
hoping you’ll  know “it nearly killed me to leave you”.

One day you’ll know that I didn’t want this to happen, to hurt or be hurt.
the fact is, I could not handle the life, the stress and the disappointment.
My hope is for you to try to understand, My walking away,
was to give you and me a chance at peace, a life without anger, chaos and hurt.

One day you’ll know what I was thinking,
The true reasons why I had to go,
One day I pray that you’ll understand,
That you will finally come around, the truth to know.

One day you’ll no longer think of me with such pain, hate and sorrow,
maybe even begin to think about more tomorrows,
but for now, you think of me as dead, gone from you, the end.

But I did it for you as well as for me.
I’d do anything for you, but my sanity was fleeting and fading away.
I still love you, I will always love you, but for me, my love has to be at bay.
So even if at this moment you cannot forgive,
Every waking moment I will always pray
That one day you’ll know, One day.

Missing pieces of me and you..

Posted on
I lost myself somewhere along the way, I am trying to find where I left my strength and my soul. I want to just close my eyes, feel your lips brush my forehead and hear you say, Goodnight Pet just once more, but because I am the weak one and and broke, you now have pieces of you shattered and torn. I look to you to strengthen me, only to realize, we both have pieces of ourselves broke, shattered and torn. I can’t pick up the pieces to put us both back together. I can only find some of me, and some of you. My heart aches that I failed you, I can only ask forgive me, I no longer know what to do…
missing pieces of me and you…
%d bloggers like this: